


Not Fit to Rule

by pocketprince



Category: Latin Hetalia - Fandom
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-24
Updated: 2013-03-24
Packaged: 2017-12-06 07:00:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/732758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pocketprince/pseuds/pocketprince
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on Zulenha's <a href="http://zu-art.tumblr.com/post/23585252693/based-on-a-discussion-i-had-the-other-day-this">image</a> of older!Argentina and Brasil discussing children.</p><p>From the point of view, but not the voice, of Brasil.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Fit to Rule

She was born four months ago.

We’ve only seen her in pictures, and every single picture I see of her makes me nervous.

Martín has one taped to the fridge, as a reminder that all of this idiotic paperwork is worth something in the end, and I’m trying so hard to agree, but my palms get sweaty at the sight of it.

I don’t know how to hold a kid. I don’t know how to take care of one. 

Her mother is too young to take care of her, they said.

And look at me. How do I know any better than her?

I wonder if this is how pai felt- but he was younger. So maybe he understands. Maybe he gets it, but it’s not like I can ask him.

Maybe I’ve been holding my cross a bit more often these days.

But when we go to meet her, I am trembling again. I don’t know how to be a father. I don’t know what to tell her, I don’t know how to make things better when they go wrong, I don’t know what to say if she gets a bad grade of ir Martín gets mad at her because I don’t even know what to say when he gets mad at me and I don’t know what to do if she asks me questions or what to do is she gets sick.

I don’t know what to do.

And I’m trying to think of what to do, but my mind keeps rushing blank and even though Martín’s holding my hand as he drives I keep forgetting and gripping his hand to make sure he’s still there.

I feel like I’m going to be sucked up into the sky, I am so nervous.

And her name is sweeter than when Martín puts dulce on brigadeiro but I can’t remember it because everything is a blank.

Because I don’t know what to do.

I’ve never been bad at anything I’ve actually done before, but I know I’m going to be terrible at this. I don’t understand why Martín is so adamant about this. We are going to be horrible. Parents are supposed to be selfless or something and I’m… 

Not.

But when we arrive, Martín pushes me forward.

He wants me to hold her first.

I’m surprised she’s so tiny, she’s so light, and I can’t find her between the haze of my nerves and all of the soft material she’s wrapped in, but when I clear my head I see her eyes shine like stars.

She is the prettiest thing I have ever seen.

And I feel something different, something that makes me fel like I’m going to fall over but I can’t do that, because she’s in my arms.

I’m going to teach her how to fish and how to play football and which teams to cheer for, and I’m going to teach her how to cook better than Martín and I’m going to teach her how to get the tourists to do stupid things in Rio, and I’m going to show her how to trick Martín so he gets mad in the funny way and how not to get in trouble for it.

She is so small, but she is smiling and holding my finger so tight, and I know she’s going to be stronger than her wimp of a papá and that she is going to be the best thing I know of.

I don’t know how I’m going to do it, but I have to. 

I’m her pai.

And Martín is laughing at me, because I didn’t realise I’m crying, but when I look at him, he’s doing it too.

And I know it’s because he’s thinking just what I’m thinking, but there’s something wrong with his, so I tell him before he gets any ideas.

“We’re not painting her room blue.”


End file.
